It was Teilhard de Chardin who said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Indeed, the crux of being human is learning to balance heaven and earth: learning to balance and integrate our soul and spirit with our three-dimensional bodies and mundane life. It is the interplay of these elements that gives us the unique experience and opportunity of living out a life as human, here on Planet Earth.
Staying fully embodied, or keeping your energy in your body as you go about your daily life, is one of the most important things you can do to retain your personal power and health. Staying fully in our bodies is also very important when truly connecting and building intimacy with others. When we can be fully present in our bodies and connect with another person, it’s a full-bandwidth experience! It’s alive and juicy!
Unfortunately, though, when we experience stress and trauma, we have a tendency to energetically leave our body. Usually it’s just partially leaving, but in extreme cases it can cause us to completely black out, lose consciousness or even die. In the shamanic world-view, parts of our soul leave our body during trauma, and sometimes these soul parts don’t come back. This can lead to illness, depression and going through life “checked out” or “not all there”.
We have all experienced stress and some degree of trauma in our lives. Most people have some degree of soul-loss and go through life disengaged to one degree or another. When we are mentally and emotionally checked out, it’s impossible to experience full-on intimacy and connection with another person, because, literally not ‘all of us’ is showing up to the experience.
Staying Embodied in Relationships
The process of dating and deepening intimacy in a relationship can be stressful. However, as we are consciously trying to connect with a partner, this is the most important time of all to be fully present in our bodies! The trick is to remember and know how to do this in the moment, even when we feel stressed.
In my Love Atlas Talks interview with Rebecca Gould, we discussed the importance of honoring our body and our body senses, to facilitate staying fully in our bodies while navigating dating and interpersonal relationships.
We discussed how common it is for women, especially, to have a history of sexual trauma that can make it incredibly difficult to stay fully present and embodied during intimate situations. A lot of Rebecca’s work is dedicated to helping women get back in touch with their own bodies so they can experience the full range of pleasure, intimacy and connection that is available to them.
Rebecca makes these suggestions to start to get more into your body and connected with your emotions:
- Mirror work
- Inner child work
- Loving Self-Talk
She offers these suggestions to deal with difficult emotions when they come up:
- Breath, put your hand on your chest. Give yourself permission to feel.
- Go into the emotion. Don’t avoid it.
- Call a friend
- Go for a walk
Below is an excerpt, but you can watch the full interview and learn more about Rebecca, at www.LoveAtlasTalks.com