In dating, we all have a “Zone”. Your zone is basically defined by who you are in terms of how you show up in the world and what you have to offer in the overall scope of the dating market. This is your zone. You can expand your zone, but still, we all have a zone. In understanding and accepting yourself, you understand and accept your zone.
At a baseline we all attract other people in our own zone. If you are ok with your own zone then great! Just date some of the people you are already attracting! Most dating tools and advice, including the Mini-Date Method, can help you attract people in your own zone. Dating techniques, in and of themselves can’t necessarily help you attract people in higher attractiveness zones. They can help you highlight everything that you have going for you in the best possible way, and they can help you reach a maximum number of people who are looking for what you have to offer.
When you are able to really accept who you are and where you are at in life, then a magical thing happens, suddenly other people start to see you through that lense as well. When you are at peace with yourself, and can silence your inner critic, you will find that there are a lot of very accepting people in the world. There are a lot of people who will take you at face value, no judgement…if you accept them as well, just as they are.
However, if you are not happy with the type of person you normally attract, and you want to attract people in a higher attractiveness zone, then you need to expand your own zone. You need to do the inner and outer work to be more attractive.
There are many factors that affect your zone of attractiveness. You can’t change all of the factors, but most of them you can influence. You can expand your zone by becoming much more attractive in a number of different areas as illustrated in the lists below. Even something as “superficial” as a new haircut or updating your clothing can up your overall attractiveness level. Beauty and fashion are multi-billion dollar industries for a reason, after all. Of course developing a strong character and an ability to connect with and care for others may serve you even better in terms of finding and keeping a long-term partnership.
Factors You Can’t Change
- Basic genetics
- Family of origin
- Childhood socioeconomic factors
- “Shit that happened to you”
Factors You Can Influence
- Fitness level / weight
- Health & vitality
- Care and connect with others
- Spiritual depth and maturity
- Hair / Makeup / Grooming
- Clothing / personal style
Guess what? Life’s not fair. That’s just how it is. Some people have a much easier time in life, and in dating, than other people. But you get to decide how you are going to play the cards you have been dealt.
And here’s a little secret I’ll leave you with: happiness has everything to do with inner peace, self-acceptance and strong connections with people you care about. Luckily, these factors are accessible in any zone.